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Turkmenbashi's Land of Fairy Tales

Theme Park Guy Rating: 1
Date Visited:
September 13, 2011

Review

Turkmenistan's capital Ashgabat is one of the most depressing places I have ever visited. It looks like Pyongyang after a revamp attempt, and boasts the street life and vibrancy of Disneyland after closing hours.

Old, ugly buildings from the Soviet era are being torn down and replaced with new, pompous, yet equally uninviting white marble superstructures; and every other one of these strange, empty-looking Italian marble-clad swanky edifices in this deserted capital is a ministry.

Above all, the kindhearted-appearing, yet penetrating eyes of Turkmenistan’s second president seem to be ubiquitous, mercilessly looking down on you from walls, buildings, landmarks and hanging carpets, in always the same portrait photo. I spent days in Ashgabat where I saw more presidents than people!

Located in the very center of it all resides the recently opened (2006), but already half-neglected theme park called “Turkmenbashi’s Land of Fairy Tales”. It flaunts a flume ride through a mountain (not operating), a river rapids ride (not operating), a small, Netherlands-manufactured roller coaster (operating), an indoor walk-through attraction with animatronics depicting local fairy tales (operating, and not bad) and an arena for shows (not showing). Visitors were a rare sight.

Theme parks tell a lot about the countries they are in.


Asghabat, capital of Turkmenistan (Turkmenbashi's Land of Fairy Tales on the right) Asghabat, capital of Turkmenistan (Turkmenbashi's Land of Fairy Tales on the right)

The city of white marble buildings The city of white marble buildings

And I... And I...

...am... ...am...

...your leader. ...your leader.

Coaster Coaster

Bear Bear

Turkmenbashi's Land of Fairy Tales Turkmenbashi's Land of Fairy Tales

Park map Park map

Turkmen guests in traditional attire Turkmen guests in traditional attire

Ridiculous attraction opening times. Don't be late! Ridiculous attraction opening times. Don't be late!

Pendulum ride Pendulum ride

'Kamikaze' brain turner 'Kamikaze' brain turner

Kamikaze up close Kamikaze up close

Show-free arena Show-free arena

River rapids ride that was River rapids ride that was

'Daddy, Daddy, they have colors in the amusement park!!' 'Daddy, Daddy, they have colors in the amusement park!!'

Mountain log flume (was closed at the time of my visit) Mountain log flume (was closed at the time of my visit)

Sleeping log flume ride Sleeping log flume ride

Motivated staff Motivated staff

Indoor walk-through attraction with animatronics Indoor walk-through attraction with animatronics

This attraction was quite charming! This attraction was quite charming!

Sleeping mom and disenchanted robot Sleeping mom and disenchanted robot

Vekoma, a world-class ride manufacturer based in The Netherlands Vekoma, a world-class ride manufacturer based in The Netherlands

Vekoma roller coaster Vekoma roller coaster

It's one of the worst Vekoma coasters I've ridden It's one of the worst Vekoma coasters I've ridden

But a welcome change for the locals But a welcome change for the locals

Turkmen couple in Ashgabat roller coaster Turkmen couple in Ashgabat roller coaster

Leaving liberty behind Leaving liberty behind

Marble buildings. Everywhere marble buildings. Wuhahaha! Marble buildings. Everywhere marble buildings. Wuhahaha!